"Dust thou art to dust returnest"


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Sunday, May 26, 2013

Horizons Harbor


You have related to this image 
Nearby the fireplace people use to read...
Compelled by the weather, spitting warm tea. 
 All so romantic yet sadly... not at all.... 
Averted from their sanity, the moon rise up again
Slow over the uncertain horizons to harbor a dismal glow
Averted from their sanctuary, miles deep into the ground. 

Horizons harbor... 

It took much from the depths to write with such passion
And fortunate for the eyes had seen, now blind to awaken. 
I have had many the quiet nights... 
Bouncing off the walls trying to calm the war, dust within 
The nuisance always numbing to be a slave for sleep in vain. 

Old movies replay in different seasons, the years moonlight... 
Above starless creation... Will we ever know the great divine?

 All so romantic yet sadly... not at all... 

Saturday, May 25, 2013

Beyond Mere


Waited on misfortune until brief moments of clarity 
A sentence spoke in a panic to provoke 
(This may not be the utmost of depth we've reached)   
Untitled, loose harp peg 
Vibration of the soul... cries in it's heritage 
Keeper of the flame... 
Banished to the last living memory. 

Hold back the tears, in stormy weather 
And from frailty there is grace and your parents wisdom 
Can still feel the warmth from somewhere within... 
We move shoreward by the lake and hike through the mountains... 
A prayer among the choir hymns in rejoiceful unison  
  Delicate thoughts... the train is leaving 
But only nostalgia knows where... 
Only poets are living 

For. the. soul. purpose. 
Of 
A heart to beat the same. 

Friday, May 24, 2013

Pressed Determinants

Turn off the phone, check messages 
Of disassembled words
Nowhere but home...
Nothing wakes the soul
But your thoughts into dreams
Tortured heaven blank thoughts
On a sea of rage...
Spring fragrance 
Birds flock from their origins 
All this and memories fade 
Tire of the making new...
Desire to be complete... 
Nevertheless by what? 

Blank screen savors blinking in the blue light
Of computer monitors 
Contemplation- uncoiled- thin air 
Dull air conditioned sky set against
Tinted skylights. 
Cold heart ignorant of the great vibration 
The waves and poly-rhythms of sitars 
And lyres on the peach skies to black coda  

Refrain from expanding- 
Immune to the disease we connect. 

There is a foolish sun
Leaving all the rain to drown
And mourn for the others past
Before this generation 
Of glassy eyes 

Staring endlessly without
A pause for grace
Celebrated loneliness
In Candlelight ennui. 

The candles in a circle, burning red 
Flares flickering- casting shimmering shades 
The haunting abrades this dark castle 
Us doomed occupants perform the rites  
Salvation in the smoke and embers fly like ghosts 
Specters on the edge of twilight
Hollow eyes... 
Clean so the endless grace... 

With on into 
Within and from
The past the present 
The desperate and despaired  
Arriving lost to a place unknown 
Born to the high altars submersed  
In holy water unclothed 

I am no more sacred 
Then this one who found love in her.

Hearts beating

With on into
Within and from.

Our fate left in the wind
Mortal coils intermixed 
With destiny grasping
With on and into

Pressed determinants, zero planes's 
Resolving from our consequence.

Love lost, fate bound 

Within and from 

Subjoined reflect of the beating hearts.  

White Wall

Limbs are tied, shifted in the hollow wind 
Song bird of emptiness
Rain in tone with melancholy 
Somehow blossomed in despair... 
No colours flourished 
White wall... blacked solitude 
Relies on sort responses and the indifferent pause... 
The loss of hearing any voice but not my own.
(Close the door... climb the wall)
But no spark to light the way... 

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Staring Blind




You were staring directly in
As I awoke by the rain on Sunday
Never matters the cost... 
The placement of keys
Left on the piano...
Smiled if I had dared not-
Made a fool out of myself 
Since hiding. 
Enlightened by everything ephemeral...

Odd soul so uninspired 
Old soul just slips into the mantle 
Then out into the empty night....
Through playgrounds of youth 
And memories in a starless galaxy... 

Not far from staring blind. 

Music: Domenic Pisitelli 
Words: Alec Wildey

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Fragile

Limited heartbeats
Quiet rain
And things of the past left unread
Papers folded
Anxiety all that's left... 
Windows broken 
With no view from inside. 
Cries at night
Holding
Books against fragile hearts 
That won't fade like I will. 

That live on after soul dies. 

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Storm Water

Saints rose 
Flown higher now in grass sown white 
Travel like pollen through the nearby breeze 
Lake of storm water, windows to soul's vision 
See with a fear not known to human 
Just sees the name on concrete 

The name before.
The year.  
The rose after...
The haven. 

Concept buried under but not deep 
Held like an oxygen tank 
In close arms 
Never breathing quite the same. 
The spring of benevolent beauty 
Gone with the disease... 
Every mourning uncertain. 
Of light to darkness and darkness to unending space.

Lake of storm water, windows to soul's vision 
See with a fear not known to human.  
Just sees the name on concrete 

The name before.
The year.  

The rose after...


Sunday, May 19, 2013

Bloodline (II) Arms Length

Colours change the face I had once known...
Eyes of demons 
The hurt of a heart beats travels desperate
You want to know how I feel God...?
I can't put into words...
The anger, the pain that seems unmendable

I follow the bloodline cold into the night...

Every 2 hours reminded
How much time has left...

How much time has past without the sky in arms length. 

Do your promises feel secure?
Left in the mind waiting patiently to die...   
Broken like the words when first said. 

You want to know how I feel God...?
I can't put into words...





Bloodline (I)


He said, I need to find inspiration 
I have no meaning anymore...
The words are like strings out of tune
(Eyes out of focus) 
Bloodline cold;
And there is no harmony 
Not without a voice that can sing
(Whispers)
Can't recall a simple phrase, die by the rope. 
By cliche's, by drugs... 

Believe to just believe without the sake of wondering. 

We're all just people here 
It makes no difference the differences 
And I try to keep that in mind...

Alone by the stable in arms length 
I could carry the weight of my own fear
Or allow the heart to be driven out...

When it's all the passion that refuses to give. 

Light this flame again.
He said, I need to find the inspiration. 

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Consume (I)


I don't want to leave her there in the disrepair I'm in
Heartbeats are cold and the trees are blowing sacred 
Pages of profound love in endless oceans 
Take me away from here... from this body, from this prison 
Light the way of all signs or just show me one reflected 
Point me in the direction that's closer... lead it far.
Anyway that's open to something else. I am nowhere now. 

To glow in memories of youth 
Before life's restraints.

Passion consumes you, and takes so much from you, 
That you can’t make it out alive.






Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Heron

Picture still life in golden sun light 
Your picture still, this fate and glory 
Now no more the shadow heron
Searching the empty space for fulfillment 
None of the qualities made...
Live until you die and make one lasting impression 
It seems as simple as the heron opens his wings... 

Your picture still, this fate and glory 
Now no more the shadow heron. 

Afterthought


Words are left out of the crowd
Filter the eyes through smoky rooms
There is a sense of not belonging... not ever.
I seclude myself, sedate the afterthought
Holding several pills in the palm of hands
Watching the moons face sadden with the reality not made
Something has to be enough to hold the stars in place...
Sleep. no longer be a prayer,
But a dismal cry... 
No longer be a dream, in lifeless eyes 
No longer know thy wisdom
Feel a smile, hear the laughter, no longer be.

Friday, May 10, 2013

Saints Lament


I am a child in the playground
I am a old man on my death bed. 
I was alive in the forest and my spirit will always be there. 

The same feeling exists as life exits 
There is no one here...

I walk through the cold chill 
On the city sidewalk to Saint Mary's 
The stain glass looks as beautiful as I remember...
Though I am fully aware I am dreaming... 
I'm aware of all the pain so demanding 
To never wake up again. 

The one I loved is not even listening 
As I call her name.
Kneeling towards the pew...
My blind altar, radiant glow... 
Of no Light.  
I walk to her, each step more anxious- echos as the heart fills the blood. 
I bring her hand into mine and speak, but no words come out. 

I hold her near to me
She embraces me close...

All the pain goes away in that instance
Souls are one.

But as I feel my eyes start to open
I fight the urge...
She turns to holy water in my arms...
Dissolving every letter ever written to me
Leaving only the last one.

The same feeling exists as life exits 
I am left alone. 

Thursday, May 9, 2013

(IV) Far From the Tree

Painting: "The Magic Apple Tree" by: Samuel Palmer

Caste away this solitary boat out to sea... 
Leave here now with your gaze frozen in times hidden memory  
Bewildered in the colours surrounding 
The untimely present, future awaits... 
The sky is nothing more than a trick of the eyes... 

The vision in the night is flawless. shadowed by her embrace.. 

You are not the only one who fell far from the tree. 

(III) Divine & Noble

Painting: "Garden in Shorham" by: Samuel Palmer

Divine & Noble
You are not the only one who fell far from the tree
The vision in the night was flawless, shadowed by her touch
Reaching into my past and removing it's strength 
To take it all from me...
(Shadowed by her hand- blind house- 
Not even a ghost to sheltered breeze) 
To take it all from me... 
By the core- of a half eaten apple.
Desire to give, temptation to suffer...

Furthermore 

You are not the only one

Divine & noble;



(II) Starless Glory

Painting: "Lament" by: Samuel Palmer

This is not the rain...
This is something fear despises  
Heartache when the feather touches close to home 
I recapture the spirit, the spring and soft touch
Hearing modest birds flown over the starless earth
When laughter and sorrow unite the glory,
Glory falls from exceptional worlds 
And when you've actually been through it...
And seen what is real 
Is when you'll actually be born and know how to heal

(Heartache when the feather touches close to home.) 



(I) Core

Painting; Coming from Evening Church, by Samuel Palmer

The first sign of light, in the darkness blue
I do not feel you, God, not anymore...
Within the confines, the spirit... alone.
My offer to this branch- a drop of rain
My offer to the soil beneath- my remains.

I am through with the offering...

My core is empty. 

I do not feel you, God, 
Yet I still fear you.

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

Song Bird of the Fleet

Movement by movement
A blade of grass, song bird on the fleet 
It may storm again by sorrow 
They may never touch my heart this way again, 
In the starry eyes I still see shapes and patterns unfolding 
The wrinkle of my arms, the time capsule uncovered  

Just like the dream and failure to speak. 
Future stillborn... 

It fills up with silence and chaos with every thought that is blank
Eye lashes fluttering the wayward unseen. 
The aviance to purify the soul and eternal being...
They won't let you go, but you can't set it free... 

A teardrop falls from the eidolon 
Adrenaline rush of veins... 
Tomorrow monuments corrode 
Tonight we are not living...  

Movement by movement 
A blade of grass, song bird on the fleet. 

Saints Rose



From life to birth, from soul immortal 
The narrow clothesline of the before refuge. 
The window opening- to never loose such frail embrace;

The heart fills with luxury and with the constant need 
O f  p e a c e  f o r   m i n d . . . 

Extend the hand, condemned beings, palm lines 
The scars of symmetry, life will end. slowly decipher;
The promise of eyes to see more than what is shown 
Never learned from the past, you've already seen my shadow ghost
Walk out the door, first into the light- now over your shoulder.
Saints rose is all you can imagine from a dream now- not inside.
A world with no beginning yet first takes the heart of passion 
Into the profound darkness- leaving nothing but the colour red- on the rose 
She is holding- doesn't know this will be 
The ashes that will uncover- the true direction of the wind.  

From life to birth, from soul immortal 

Saints Rose. 

Extending hand.

Wednesday, May 1, 2013

Deities of the Temple / Audience of None

A kaleidoscope of rain pours out of the heavens 
Graceful drops soaking into every space.
Grace rolls down the wet concrete. 
Through the kingdom.
The city made of stone.
Purgatory of white marble.
Pillars ascend to the deities of the temple.
Golden shimmering doors reflect amber moondew 
Wet leaves of grass and mandarin groves.
Rushing breeze and newspapers rolling across the alley 
Bricks red in hue and low light
Walking down through, gauze of rue... 

...

Sunbeams to our broken promises 
Open up inside to remind us of light
Reflected eyes of hate disintegrate
The ornaments of belief... 
Artistic sin. BLASPHEMY!
Broken promise of our sunbeams 
Remembrance of light, open up inside 
Of hate disintegrate, reflected eyes. 

Moon cast shadows on mists of rain.
The silence creeps closer as we drift away. 

Through the audience of none,
Without reason to feel any significance at all.
Sleep more than the renown... 
As the weakness, empowered 
By just a brief encounter, the allure... 

Emotional attraction, underline resolve. 

Reflected eyes stare through the audience of none.

Purgatory of white marble.
The city made of stone.

___________

Part (I) Trevor James (Bold) 
& Part (II) Alec Wildey (Italics) 

Arrangement by AW  


Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Take One Away


Petrified glass of my own reflection
Do you see four trees in the silver skyline...
(Correct me if I'm wrong...)
Do you water a dozen flowers after it rains?
(There's no healing now...)

Take one away by me...
Take one away, would be perfect.

I don't expect anything...
Anticipating hearts... of near life.
Words adored, candle gutted out...
Songs of sentiment play out loud.
Anticipating hearts of near life.

Take one away by me...
Take one away.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Below Roots (II)

Am I forced to be the one?
Or are you ever going to come and get me out of this? 
Hurricane of guilt 
Lifting the tree from below roots. 
Rid of all the ties that have made the pain
Conflicted... 

Don't miss the heartache now, the way I always mourned
But I will, after hours... 
Cling to the rain escapes, the bottles... 
Clink against the glass, shatters 
Pouring out the remainder...
From the year before. 
From the heart at war. 
And the memories... 

Someday to reflect?

While into the cold quiet dark. 

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Mixed Incident



The wicked have reconciled
The faithful have reclined.
A part of you is on the dashboard 
The rest is speeding blind 
In Mind's eye...
First God will cut the cord
Then he'll pull the plug, just the same. 
And you will sever your only rule...
Keep aware of the road ahead,
Don't forget the way that is was...
And free yourself from all the pain.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Dust Thou Art (II) Temple

Never to be more alive 
Than the art has made me...
Subjective to a pattern 
Formed in brief moments of charm. 

Make no alterations... 
No compromise  
The obsession will slowly fade from here on. 

I am sad... deprived and lonely  
And sadness will avert from the eyes
Staring perfectly through the whites of her lilies...
Carried by the current and the need for something more.

Short breathes will divide 
Into a temple of worship 
I can't reach...    
Can never fall before four, not ever, just once...  
Drown the candle... finish your thought
The mind's a cryptic altar to a prayer we don't trust. 

Pour your liquor, deprive a wish;
Sentimental will always be there, 

So unforgiving. 

In moonlight waning crescent...

Always half, yet never whole.  

Never to be more alive 
Than the art has made me...
Subjective to a pattern 
Formed in brief moments of charm. 



Thursday, April 25, 2013

Exterior

I feel like a criminal 
Though I've never meant to harm anyone before.
There are some stars out there, beyond the gray
That just don't shine through anymore 
The reasons are not blamed... 

Though I feel them deflected. 

I've never felt the dust in my palms...
Yet I've watched it spill through others 
Every morning I admired the thought
That I could be renewed... 

That I could live on to be more than just a specter.  

That my gift was worth saving. 
Not even a cure. 

I feel like such a criminal...

... 

Reality does not wait for me on the other side of darkness 

(Know there is a pulse in every human being. 
Be there, a shadow on this rough exterior...) 

There is truth in what you believe
In that we remain.  
Though it is difficult for blind to see
When in the end we're fast a sleep...

The world does not work, callous... 

The reasons are not blamed. 


Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Unsung.

There's no faces in the crowd of people, parade 
The only eyes i see are embedded in my mind 
Great wide oceans of tears...
Forgiveness's, exasperation absolves in each of us...
 Each minor detail, no flaw goes unnoticed  
The flight of the rain... the river's current 
No burden is here to each hammering cross... 
The bleeding nail of our palms,
Paint to the brush... 
A line in a poem, sings the song unsung. 

We belong to the wilderness...
Not to this work-a-day world. 

There's no faces in the crowd of people, parade 

The only vision now is from darkness here without you. 

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Below Roots (I)

A hurricane of guilt 
Lifting the tree from below roots
Further into the ground 
A faint rhythmic pattern forlorn 
Jumps the surface. 

The soil cracked all along the earth.  

Some soft wind left upon the hill
Reforming the clouds... 
Resonates remorseful broken flowers 
Whispers it's lullabies to sleep long afternoons

Unseen, unheard, untouched. 

While into the cold quiet dark 
An empty hand letting go of papers... 
The pen ink from unread letters... 
Dissolves 
The mark it once made
Dissolves
The voice it once spoke in... 

A deepness ever passionate...

Further into the ground.

Monday, April 22, 2013

The Infinite Current / Reversed Doldrums


The stars acid green valley's 
Dissolve my brain.
Lucid supernovas and chaos 
Turning in a waltz
Arteries and veins flood through the heart
Some passionate thought now mourns the loss
Time continues, the infinite current 
Arteries and veins carry through... 

The delusion inside the dream.
The dark lake of all souls.
Beings emanating strings of half-light 

I arrive at the door discontinued
By wake and sleep illusions alike
Sadness finds way of clarity 
Oceans rise... 
A ripple in the memory of her earth 
The monument has no name...
Every moment now is born.

Whispers of the oracle beneath the oak.
Within the hexagon of the sacred grove.
Blood sacrifice crossing the firmament. 
Grasping the grass beyond river Styx.

Just a sigh holds the capsule perfectly still
While we are no more together 
But a prayer in the whispering night. 
Arrives at the blockade door discontinued...
By wake and sleep, illusions deprived.

Magma liquid magenta meadows
Naked stores of the eternal city
Cascades of funnels in reversed doldrums

Every moment now is born.

...

The monument has no name...
A ripple in the memory of her earth 
Oceans rise... 
Sadness finds way of clarity 
By wake and sleep illusions alike
I arrive at the door discontinued

Beings emanating strings of half-light 
The dark lake of all souls.
The delusion inside the dream.

Arteries and veins carry through... 

The infinite current. 

_____________________________________________________

Written By:
Alec Wildey (Italics) & Trevor James (bold)
Arrangement by AW April 20-22, 2013 
Photo AW April 18th, 2013  

Saturday, April 20, 2013

God Fearing

What kept me so far behind
The rest...?
While the others were out living their lives
After school, college...
Graduate... 
Now they work for minimum wage. 

Some are married. 

So afraid of the left hand turn
Afraid of the gun...
The doctors news... 

God fearing. 

What did we expect to learn? 
Expect to get out of living so ordinary? 
Stop at the red light 
The sun goes down... 

We cry

God fearing. 

Thursday, April 18, 2013

Prot├ęctor

Always looking for a sign from above
But never given the strength to concur 
Within... how can I live without the fear
How can I let you in? 
Into my soul. 
To stay for good, in me.
As a haven to the sun 
As the spirit and protector 

God I need to believe you now...
But I don't know how...
Just give me a sign
Let me encounter...

I feel the fall from grace.  

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Dust Thou Art (I)


Judgment street...
One way paved to gray. 
Holding out open arms to disarm unwelcome. 

A path to knowledge, one can only perceive 
But not believe so well...
(The open door eludes me
Anxiety climbing up the wall.)
It is one thing to express how you matter...
But another to oblige without cautious measure.   

The crows look down from above
The weeping willow...
The elder me sits below in the shade
Wise to the bitterness that left him that way
The same month it arrived years prior. 

The love through the wind
Heavy in nature. 

Some siren... air chime of a train
Depressant fades...
Pour your liquor, deprive a wish; 
Sentimental will always be there.

In moonlight waning crescent, 
Disappear behind the clouds 
A sequence of stars uncoiled, 
Return to the soil ground. 

To me...

Dust thou art to dust returnest 

Sentimental will always be here.


Sunday, April 14, 2013

Graciously

Crumble like the leaves
Dried and wilted 
Passionate to the core
Belonging to nothing but distance. 
  
If only words were understood 
If only disease would heal, autoimmune.

Crumble like the leaves... 

Spring is here, over a year...
Riding on the wings of a angel profane.
Though I'm far from rebirth 
I feel as though I've died
Yet still suffer the tragedies of not knowing how to live. 

The great fear of life, where passion is the sedative. 

When everything we love is somehow strangely connected. 

Passionate to the core.

...

The sweet wind releases us...

Just wanting to let you go.
Because I can't bare to do more harm to you. 
Graciously, don't forget to breathe
Be strong, more powerful than I ever have. 

Saturday, April 13, 2013

Shadowed One


Drop what your doing 
Drop who you are 
Fake a smile...
Weep a storm. 

The branches may not always break my fall.

Incense drifts and candles burn...
A heart made of plastic I want to melt down.
Make me the way I feel... 
Just cover me in dust and dig a whole in the ground
So it can't feel the cold from the earth
Not cold from the sky 
Cold from the eyes of every other soul, 
That reached for comfort. 
But became the shadowed one 

Abandoned from the flesh 
Soulfly, soul release 
A stranger to me now...
No ones ever known this grace...

Taken from me. 

...

Drop what your doing 
Drop who you are 
All that you believe in...
Fake a smile...
Weep a storm. 

Chained and unchained 

The branches break my fall.


Friday, April 12, 2013

H a v e n


Petrified glass of my own reflection 
Stare down through these iron bars 
From outside looking in. 
Always one conflict to myself 
While the earth remains perfectly still.

We suffer now because it meant the world 
No other's awake... nothing to live for, 
Yet so much to lose... 

We suffer now because it meant something, to each other 
Not just to you... 

Tell me, is my blood any colder?
Are my eyes just a reflection in the dim light of day?
Reflection of the clouds that turn to rain...
Or are my branches so unforgiving? 
No, this is more than I have to give. 
Doesn't make you unimportant. 

Doesn't make you unreal. 

Doesn't make you responsible for all that's wrong with me. 

Did I ever make your soul feel safe inside...?
My haven... I need pain apart for now. 

Tell me. 

Did I ever make your soul feel safe?

... 

We suffer now because it meant the world 
No other's awake... nothing to dream over, 
Yet to much to undo... 

My own reflection through petrified glass... 
Stare down through these iron bars.

Unguarded

When I think fear, the most terrible fear of all.

It's living with something for so long
Something that makes you feel safe, 
Gives your life hope and sense of belonging...
When that something is no longer there...

The fear is unbearable.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Hollow

I feel so hollow 

Without hope inside...

I try to smile to force the optimism 
To listen to my loved ones... 
As I cry. 

Because they know 
They have my best interest in mind

Are in my heart eternally. 

To know mine is breaking more everyday... 

To keep holding blind faith,
Blind love...
In the cloud of darkness.

There are no secrets here. 

To know your stronger more compassionate than I...
For me to feel your pain... 
I'll die and become more still, 
This rooted tree, heavy in the ground...

Hollow. 

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Black Bough / Judgement Street / Rest on your Knees

What dreams may inflect this draining 
Agenbite of inwit?
Parallel courts strung along the endless wire
Inside the dancing tornado 
Of the inward bound.

Fractions of a second start to mend
Start to propel the second hand
Oblivious to her caution 
The reign of starkness on my behalf 

Inward through me, the wistful wind. 
Reign of starkness...

The apparition of these faces in the crowd
Petals on a wet. Black bough 
See without judgment the mask hiding blame
Tears, though sometimes imperative...
Lose all meaning without something to believe...

Given more pity... won't save you from yourself.  
Won't save you now.  

...

Judgement street. 

Wet cobbles link these turns in the fog.
Reeling inside yourself.
Down the staircase,
Red painted dark rooms.
Deserted low hum.
Broken glass bottles and a circle of 12 red candles 

The dark star.

Portents of this coming.
Knife flashes and a smile is revealed.
Feel these cold medieval chains.
Inside black lit dungeons 
Shackled inside the cage
Fading memories of light dissolve
Onto ripped banners pronouncing guilt 

Screams awake the silent cachapony 
Rendered weight lifting off the tips of the body
Rising, levitating mass
Limp signs reveal the ropes noise
Flashback echoed of swinging portends 
Black birds crawl silent as night infinite  
Fractured on the blank bible

...

Rest on your knees.

The horror shinning through moonshine light
From the body- cover the face
Black hole eyes are portals to you in the gaze
I linger on into and beyond for myself. 

You speak as though no one ever tried but failed
To abandon everything that makes you feel safe 
To abandon your only rule
 In your time of need...
No pressure would amount to silences 
No candle in the void of darkness 
None would rest in the half-light of right and wrong
Of cancers and of life in good health 
I struggle to believe that faith is making sense 
I rest on my knees... but find the rope still hangs at both ends

See without judgment the mask hiding blame
Tears, though sometimes imperative...
Lose all meaning without something to believe...

Given more pity... won't save you from yourself.  
Won't save you now.  

I struggle to believe that faith is making sense 
I rest on my knees... but find my heart still mourns 

The love that aches...

What dreams may inflect this draining 
Agenbite of inwit?

Alec Wildey (Italics) & Trevor James 

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Ennui


Sometimes I can't decide 
Whether I'm in heaven or in hell
The taste of blood, the acid flavor it tasted, fear.

The voice of reason don't make much 
A sound anymore..
When your reason alone.

The blood in me.
The demon. 


Broken footsteps on the shore
(The shore of broken footsteps)
ON THE SANDS OF
SOMEONE REMAINING 

Severed ties... 
The lean of hearts 
Awaken canvases. 


Maybe just dust, maybe just a tear fall... 
In the night.
ON THE SANDS OF
SOMEONE REMAINING 

... 

Of all October skies left from the cold
Pattern of leaves...
Wilted flowers, wild depression 
Warming fire of your faith
Burns solely out... 
In the autumn collecting what was left...

Wild fire, warming ennui 

This is indeed hell. 

The blood
The demon me. 


Thursday, April 4, 2013

The Needle Pushed The Red

The needles on the ground now...
Spinning on your own blood
The thoughts are out...
Sent through the wire 
And into the eyes of comprehension 
But will it ever be known? 

While the madness is quite the same 
Just more silent in the night 
Nothing forgotten just deeply repressed... 

You have read the overture 
Red glass has found a way
From shards to the vase
Where flowers held us... 
So delicately removed from reality.  
So delicately removed. 

From shards
Where flowers died in us... 

You have read the overture 

Some without prayer in mind
Have lost all importance in the landscape between 
An unfinished painting and the part of me that isn't real. 
Would come to terms with all defiance 
Would lose sight on how meaningless life is
How money changes everything...

The needle is spinning on red 
To just finish your Goddamn cigarette 
And go to bed...

Without prayer in mind. 

The needles on the ground now...
Spinning on your own blood
The thoughts are out...
Sent through the wire 
And into the eyes of comprehension 
But will it ever be known? 


Tuesday, April 2, 2013

AirChime


The train sings a song off the rail...
Late at night when I alone
Watch the street in silence... 
Sometimes I wonder if anyone else can hear it?
Or maybe if the moon is blind to me
Hard of hearing...
Emotions will detached themselves from pain
If only I could feel less...
Needing not a pill of the mind...
Allow comfort in spirits 
To dwell from the past...
Learn to live with love from a far...
Sheltering distance. 

I am beholden
For more than the eyes will ever know.
The sweet taste of the lips
From softly spoken words... 
Break the silence between worlds
Never heard... 

Like a feather fallen. 

Branch to branch 
From one hand I hold
And from the other, always reaching 
For something that is not whole 

Ethereal...

I am beholden 
For more than the eyes will ever know.

... 

The train sings a song off the rail...
Late at night when I alone
Watch the street in silence... 

Saturday, March 30, 2013

Cloak

Illustration by: Allie Heartly

Unveil the mask tonight
With the face of the moon
I lie awake counting my peace 
Before depression's hollow voice
Unveils it's mask... 

To cloak me in. 

Don't have the strength 
Anymore,
Strength to think,
Strength to feel,
Strength to see things rational...

Calm this heart
Becalm this art
Persistence fades in sleep... 
If only I could catch it
If only the night would soon end

It's peace in me. 

Calm this heart

Becalm this art

Persistence fades...

Unveil the mask tonight
With the face of the moon
I lie awake counting my peace 
Before depression's hollow voice
Unveils it's mask... 

To cloak me in. 

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Passive Uniqueness

As long as your happy...
Joy will rain on me
Bitter sweet tears...
I reverse the cloud cover in eyes 
Time smiles... 
Snow falling passive uniqueness  
The colourless shapes 
Fingers touching hearts
Never quite release me... 

But as long as your happy 
Joy will rain.

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Lament

Take a brief moment to heal,
Reflect over shinning violets seen in moonlight...
That haven't bloomed...
Constantly ignoring the pain 
Won't change the way it hurts...

It just won't be the same
No matter how you look at it. 
Never again...
In the brief moment that nothing exists... 

Still love intact
Withdrawal passionless 
 No right urgency... 
Only lament 

Lament every waking eye. 


Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Fall from Unison


Inhale slowly to breathe deep with open eyes...
Closed eyes to lashes fall from unison 

Entire spirit stripped of me...
To the core of what I thought was decent 
What I want to believe 
Was the soul truth... blessed force;

Invisible trust taken away...
Over a year of building, 
Nearly all my heart to wait,
There is no other, point in life...

I've made...

Searching for wisdom. 

Calm the echos until silence 
No words repeated, no lips moving 
Pathological phrase. 

No need to avert your eyes 
It's just me as you've always known
Happy to make you smile...

Always some broken half, alone. 

Deeply scared by the world, 
That sometimes loves. 

Inhale slowly to breathe deep with open eyes...
Closed eyes to lashes fall from unison 

Entire spirit stripped of me...

Monday, March 25, 2013

Besotted

I think I remember so much less now...
A fountain with coins sink low to the bottom 
All a part of the scheme to make your dreams brighter. 
A dime a day...  
Fill up the mug with wine, watch the priest pore it down
Blessed in thy name...
Some story we're all enamored 
Cling to that and we're holy... 
Something magnificence 
Strip until your bare, sleep in closed coffins

I think I remember so much less now...

Who are you to lord it over us? 

Sunday, March 24, 2013

Nightingale / Deadwards / The Fire Orchard

I know nothing of why the nightingale came for me
Soft whisper of another turned to silence 
With lips moving...

Gentle rain settle the ashes...
Wash away the tears

Concrete sky, coldness of detachment,
I wonder if the nightingale will fly again?

...

There's no longer moments of stillness after hours
Divided you create the lasting impression... 
Forgiveness of me for trying to bleed, 
Trying to wake
While I no longer sleep...

Sleeping deadwards;

To the ritual of another year
Forsaken heaven 
On that very moment in time
Two : thirty, seven...

Three hundredth and sixty five days a year...

Burns one candle. 

...

A pastel glow of the trees 
From above looking in
Surrounding
Where I left black finger prints 
Shaded over
One side of the moon 
My side... 

Below 
The fiery orchard.

Pretending to dream, I've finished the entire landscape...
Something you may have loved, when I am no longer significant. 

The wind will rise you'll hear the bird sing
Soft whisper of another turned to silence 
With lips moving...

Gentle rain settle the tears...
Wash away the ashes.